Cloning in the Movie
Sleeper
Starring: Woody Allen and Diane Keaton

We're here to see the nose.
I heard it was running.

Dr. Temkin, we're ready on this end.

You don't mind if some of our younger people...who are not involved in genetic programming just observe?

No, not at all. I like to be watched while I clone.  The more the merrier.  I never, I never, clone alone.

Computer Voice: Hello, Dr. Temkin. So nice to see you.  I'm bio-central computer series G. I'll be assisting you through the entire process.

May I say, doctor, we're all aware of reputation.  And we look forward to a successful and rewarding cloning procedure.

This is my, my assistand, D-D-Dr. Spock.  Janis.  J-J-J-Janis.  Dr. Spock.

Dr. Spanis. Sr. Spanish.

Dr. Snot. Sr. Slavish.

I better have a look at the patient.

Oh wow. It's in a lot worse shape than I thought.  Better lay off Amenian women.  

I believe this is going to be a very difficult croning job.

Oh yes, cloning,  you idiot. Not crowing. Cloning!

We're ready to proceed. Uh, mm, after looking at the nose.  I get the feeling that what we ought to do perhaps is postpone the cloning.

(Computer Voice): Excuse me, doctor, but that would be a tragic mistake.

See, I think what the computer is failing to take into account is what I call the Pinocchio factor.  Which states that the square root of the proboscis is equal to the sum of the sinuses, over seven.

Well, what is your opinion, doctor?  Should we proceed with the cloning or should we postpone?

Ah, indeed.  I uh, one moment.  A moment.  A medical moment.

Yes, well, uh, yes I believe that we should go ahead with the cloning.

Go ahead with the cloning.  Excuse me. I have to have a conference with the doctor.

Doctor, for a second if you'll just come over her. I just wanna speak to you about that.  What do you mean go ahead with the cloning?

What are we supposed to do?

I don't know how to clone a nose, you're crazy!

(Both arguing)

Doctor, please proceed.

Stop it!

You stop it. Get a grip on yourself.

Of course, I'm glad you put it to me in that fashion.

And now if you'll let me have the lobster fork, please.

What you have here. I diagnosed the entire situation, and I think what we've got, what we're dealing with basically is a nose.

I think we're all in agreement on that.

I have the little beggar right here.  And what you want basically is a whole entire person, connected to that nose, right?  Otherwise, you'd get your money back.  Now, did want you want me to leave room for a moustache? 'Cause there's a nice area in there which it'll fit.  It's um, what.

It's clever.  She's clever.

What the doctor is doing here.  We're placing down the garments, 'cause we're gonna clone.  And, we're gonna make an attempt to clone the patient directly into his suit.  And that way, he'll be completely dressed at the end of the cloning. 

It's a first in cloning and then we could all just get the hell out of here.

We don't have to hang around the clothing room while he suits up.

I think it's time to check the cell structure.

The structure cells to be checked.

Checking the cell structure.  (Whistles)  Checking the cell structure.  And now the cell structure has been checked.  I thank you so much.

And now I'll just take my mask, if you don't mind and I'll strap it on to my face. And if you'll excuse me for one second...

Suggest it's...checking the cell structure.  Checking the cell structure!

Ah, checking the cell structure, checking, the cell structure.

While I give the patient a quick nostrilectomy.

Uh, this is it, keep your fingers crossed.

Computer: Something's going wrong.  There's been a current break in the life support system.

What I think we should do.

What's that you've got under your mask?

Pardon me?

Under my mask?  Nothing.  Why? Is, does, does it look excessively bulbous?

He's got the nose.  He's got the nose under the mask.

He's got the nose. 

Quick! Quickly!

All right, nobody move or I shoot your president.

All right, come on, we're getting out of here.

Don't come near me.  I'm warning you, or he gets it right between the eyes.

He'll do it.  I've seen him shoot a nose.

Please, please, please be careful.

You don't realize that you've  been dealing with one of the greatest minds you've ever seen.

Yeah, and his isn't so bad either.  Yeah.

Don't come near us.

All right.  Get out of here now.

He's bluffing.  He wouldn't shoot the nose.

Bluffing, am I?

Okay, clowns, you asked for it.


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